Father-in-law pressures bride to host his mother's funeral the same week as her wedding in 6 months: 'My fiancé called me selfish.'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 3, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

Why would they wait 6 months before having a funeral?

Weddings are supposed to be a joyful time, but they often become incredibly stressful for everyone involved. They cost so much money, and everyone has an opinion on exactly how everything should go. The bride's and the groom's opinions should be the most important, but there are always factors that complicate the matter. If the bride's parents are footing the bill for the wedding, should they have a say in the bridesmaid dresses, venue, and food? It really depends on the relationship between the bride and her parents and whether they are paying for the wedding as a gift. 

You can't always control what your in-laws do at or near your wedding. They might spend the week before chilling on the beach without sunscreen, so they show up on the day of the wedding with horrible sunburns that look awful in pictures. There is literally nothing you can do to stop them from doing that. All you can do is swallow your pride and pay however much it costs for the photographer to edit them to look normal in the wedding pictures. 

In this story, the bride was asked whether she would be okay with her fiancé's grandma's funeral happening the same week as her wedding. She didn't object for sentimental reasons. She objected because both events are far too big and emotional to occur in such quick succession. Her fiancé was unsatisfied with her justification and scolded her about being selfish. Did I mention that the grandma passed six months before their wedding, which gives the family plenty of time to plan a funeral?

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  • A grieving family carries the wicker casket of their late grandmother at her funeral, scheduled four days before her grandson's wedding.
    via The Good Funeral Guide

    A grieving family carries the wicker casket of their late grandmother at her funeral, scheduled four days before her grandson's wedding. 

  • Am I the bad guy for not wanting a funeral four days before our wedding?

    Yesterday my fiancés grandmother passed away. Since a couple members of extended family were invited to our wedding my Father in law thinks it would be logical
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • to have her funeral the same week as the wedding so people wouldn't have to travel to the state twice. He ultimately asked if I would be opposed by that idea
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • but I asked for time to think about it. Our wedding isn't for 6 months and I just feel like that's a long time to wait to mourn their loved one. Not to mention the roller
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • coaster of emotions you'll put the family and guest through. Mourn their loss on a Wednesday and then party and celebrate Friday-Saturday to celebrate the newly weds.
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • Family and friends celebrate the bride and groom at their wedding, mere days after the groom's family mourned their matriarch at her funeral, six months after her passing.
    via Leonardo Miranda

    Family and friends celebrate the bride and groom at their wedding, mere days after the groom's family mourned their matriarch at her funeral, six months after her passing.

  • I took all emotion out of it and tried to be logical. That week we will be extremely busy. We are DIY a lot of stuff and will have family and friends from both sides in town.
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • Cheezburger Image 10635701248
    via Colin + Meg (Unsplash+)

    A bride works on the flower arrangements for her wedding by herself, trying to decrease the spending on her already expensive wedding.

  • My fiancé said he would support the decision | made. I told him how I felt and he ended up calling me selfish and always having to have my way. (I guess he really
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • didn't think it was a big deal). I know his emotions are high and he's sad but that doesn't make me feel great. My parents and I are putting over 25k into this
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • wedding/rehearsal/honey moon so I want to make sure I'm focused on that the week of. I'm hurt and torn on what to do. Does saying no make me the ahle and selfish?
    via u/kittyfaith200
  • next_chapter_ashore 6 months? Funerals happen within 1-2 weeks of passing. . Grandma is just gunna be posted up on a sack of ice for 6 months? And stored where? That's not free. NTA.
    via u/next_chapter_ashore
  • Entire Tangerine Yeah I thought their wedding was like next week. Like it would s k and be a bummer but does make logistical sense. Six months from now is a bizarre ask.
    via u/EntireTangerine
  • cherrycoloured us jews literally do it the next day, like it's so shocking to me that other cultures will literally wait two weeks before burying the person's body. six months just sounds disgusting.
    via u/cherrycoloured
  • Jodenaje I suspect that the deceased will be cremated. I've been to quite a few memorial services some time after the passing, where the family delayed the service for whatever reason.
    via u/Jodenaje
  • Actual-Deer1928 NTA. "My fiancé said he would support the decision I made. I told him how I felt and he ended up calling me selfish and always having to have my way." Yikes that is a red flag. Says he'll support you either way and then attacks you. You've got to think back over if this is something he's done before or if he has other red flags.
    via u/Actual-Deer1928
  • cofffeegrrrl He's calling you selfish when you are being reasonable. I think you need to explore that. Also, own it. It's okay to be reasonably "selfish."
    via u/cofffeegrrrl
  • Cantpleaz_every1 NTA, but can't the family have a funeral now and then host some sort of small remembrance or celebration of life during that week so grandma is celebrated but it isn't as heavy as a funeral. It also may be nice if you can find a way to honor her during your wedding.
    via u/Cantpleaz_every1

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grandma funeral husband wedding mourning father in law family mom fiancee
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